Musik Mundi: Phantogram

Phantogram
Album: Eyelid Movies (2010)
Song: When I'm Small

I've actually added a handful of songs on the playlist. So here it is again. The end of another year. I can't say if this year has been good or bad. I've got more than most people so i will be grateful and say that i am lucky to have what i have. Spent most of the holiday removing stanky and dirty carpet and replacing it with some fake wood laminate. Big poppa and i did most of it ourselves. I had to send some curse word filled texts to the little sistars because they completely ignored my request for them to help clear out the living room. Why do they make me the bad guy? Seriously. Anyway. The other day i found myself reflecting back on the person that i am today. I think most people in my inner circle would say that i'm an extrovert. But that's only true when i'm with people who i enjoy being around. The true definition of an extrovert is a person who is energized by being around other people and that is clearly not the case all the time. There have been many scenarios where i've been in a group setting and not a peep i made. I think some people prolly even thought i was SHY! And hands down that is not the least bit true. I've been around certain people who just suck the life out of me and there's not one thought that i can think of to share with them. I become this silent blob just sitting there with nothing to offer. Nothing. The definition of an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone. I'm totally a little bit of that too! I'm perfectly fine doing things on my own without having someone accompany me. I guess i'm just normal? Since big poppa and i have such busy weeks that when the weekends roll around, i just want to stay home and do nothing. Or maybe housework, crafting, or even some art project. I've gotten so bad at reaching out to people to set up social time. I could prolly work on being more proactive at that especially since i'm not really the phone chatting keep in touch type. I know that i've become a lot better at not completely shutting people out who i think have disappointed me. I don't want to be someone that play games or make calculated moves. So i don't do it. And i don't believe in tit for tat. An eye for eye makes the whole world blind. I just do what i need to do to keep the peace. How much i have grown! It's not hard to know who values your frendship so i hope that my bond with these great people become even stronger and hope that the ones with wrinkles somehow irons itself out. So was that all just comepletely random or what?!?

Big poppa and i have now been together for eight whole years! Our anniversary just sorta flashed by. We don't normally celebrate it anyway since it's christmas day. It was so hectic trying to finish up the floors, move all the furniture back and then prepare food for the family. All in a span of three days. Body was so soooore. Big poppa and i have the utmost respect for each other. I love that we're both such happy people even after all these years together. And i feel that our relationship has been as great as it has because we both didn't have to compromise much to make it work. I love him more than anything in this world! Even more than korean fried chicken!